Over the weekend, I caught myself comparing my business (again!) with another coach out there in the world.
I currently have 11,000 Facebook fans. She has 111,000…and every time I think about that, I get a little jealous.
Okay, a lot jealous.
My spiritually-minded side gently reminds me that I am in the perfect place and to set my ego aside and simply focus on my own journey. And the ego side of me says, “Oh no you don’t! There’s more work to be done.”
Actually, I’ve come to know that a little ego can go a long way as long as you keep it in check.
Amen, sister. We all need a little bit of ego if we’re going to accomplish big goals, but at some point, your ego might cause you to forget what’s really going on. Or at least mine has…
This begs the question: When does jealousy serve you and when does it get in your way?
I have a coaching client who can often forget that her business is less than 18 months old. Just last week, she found herself comparing her toddler of a business to other coaches who’ve been around longer than the Internet. This left her feeling totally discouraged, behind, and frustrated.
That comparison is not only unfair and unrealistic, it’s not helpful.
Instead of letting someone else’s success make you feel jealous and less than…LEARN from them. These thriving empires might be showing you a strategy that you haven’t figured out yet. Study and admire their know-how and then get back in your lane and do the work.
As I admitted at the beginning, I’m human. I get jealous, too. But here’s a little inside look at how I use these feeling to my advantage:
Step One: I thank my ego.
Yep, that little voice deserves some credit sometimes.
My jealousy shows me that what I’m doing still matters to me. I love marketing! LOVE it. Can’t get enough of it. So I would hope that I get a little twinge of jealousy when I see someone doing it better than me.
If I didn’t, I would question whether or not I’m in the right business.
Step Two: I drop my interpretations.
Interpretations occur when you draw conclusions based on how crappy you feel rather than on the actual facts.
Here’s what I mean…
I see this jealousy-inducing coach’s awesome social media numbers and fall into Compare and Despair.
“She’s “smarter” than I am.” “She’s making a bigger impact than I am!” “She’s going to steal all of my clients….! “I don’t know what I’m doing? She rules, I drool.”
I think you catch my drift…
Interpretations are fiction. But they can dominate your thinking if you’re not careful. They grow out of your feelings of vulnerability, fear, you name it. But they aren’t reality.
Instead, let’s look at the facts.
- I have 11,000 followers. She’s got an extra zero on me.
- I see promoted posts from her on my Facebook feed….constantly.
- I’m not currently investing any money in FB ads.
Step 3: Using the facts, choose a new direction.
I want a broader reach on Facebook. How do I know that’s what I want? Because I’m jealous when I see someone else who has it…
It’s really clear what I need to do next. I need to invest in Facebook ads. Something I’ve hesitated to do before, but I can see it’s a strategy that’s working.
Now I’ve got some valuable, new insight from the success of a fellow coach. And a whole new strategy to help me accomplish my big goal: help more people to boot.
The bottom line is this: Mind your own business, do what you do really well, and course correct often. Don’t let jealousy be your enemy. Let it be your indicator.
Comparing yourself to other coaches won’t make you a better coach, but it can offer clues to the direction you want to take next, and tips to help you get there.
So thank you, Jealousy! You show me what matters, you show me new perspectives, and you remind me to get to work.
Where have you been jealous in your busines before? Is your jealousy offering an opportunity to course correct? Let me know below…